Happy

I am very happy now, thank you my girl :)

I only usually write on this when I'm unhappy, but thanks to her I havn't had to in ages :D YAY! :D

Disregard

Please disregard my past/stupidity

Thank you :)

Tell her not to go...

I can't mess this up, its the best opertunity I've had in so so long, I know if I let her go I'll regret it, I really will. What am I thinking of someone else for? What am I thinking of my ex for? I have no idea, I need to get a handle on myself again, need to wake up and smell the stupid! *smakes self*

Don't mess this up, you know how good she is for you

"I don't know much, but I know I love you.. and that maybe all I need to know"

But so many questions left.. am I ready for the plunge? What if I mess up? What if we change? What about the distance? Has it been enough time? What if this isn't the right time? What if I'm asking too many questions? What if she sees this and realises how scared and worried I really am?

What if the truth isn't enough? . . . :(

What if she dosn't like crazy people...

I Hate You

your too damn afraid to say it to me, even though you know I'm talking about you, content to go on and let the chips drop where they may, I hate you so much I don't know what to do, like you'd ever stand up for yourself, or anyone else, just bring it bitch. You know you can't face up to any really problem, you just run, just like with us, I cared enough to stay and work it out, but no, if something goes bad you just run, run as fast as possible and don't look back, pretend it never happened, the worlds all smiles, sweep it under the carpet and hope for the best, leave the stragglers behind to their fate. Well it happened, and I won't forget it, look at me as if its all good, well its not, and thats why it hurts so much more, because you think you can just sweep it away

People only Love you because you show them what they want, tell them what they want to hear, Singing lies, lies, sweet little lies

Thats all your good for isn't it

Its ok, I found it, lol

Truth,
Love,
Honesty,
freedom(as long as its not at the cost of someone elses)
equality,
unity,
etc...

I'm lost for meaning

If you want me, then you know your on the wrong track

Tell her not to go...

Theres still hope, you just have to be willing to look for it, or create your own

This Is the Life

Listening to the music,
Flashes of two past loves
Bioshock and Her

A strange sensation..

We will lose

Do we ever really learn from the past?

Or do we just lose a little more of what we once knew,

What we once held to be true, with such certainty

Is there any hope left for a brighter future?

Or are we born with it all, only to lose it,

Either gradually or all at once

Some things are certain...

...we will lose

Listen to the battle raging

Illegal post time? according to who?

I wonder what society would do should I do nothing? Force me to do something? What if I don't want to be part of your society? Don't want to be part of your world? I probaly don't have a choice do I?

Or not..?

Oh well, the world didn't end, yet...

I wonder what I am to other people? A question I constantly ask myself, but never really answer

So what am I doing? Nothing in particuler and I don't know why?

Wish I had a clue

I wish I could stay more positive,

Wish there were more positive people in the world,

I wish I knew what peoples true intentions were,

Maybe I have trust issues?

Steamed from my parents no doubt..

I want to be the strong one,

because I'm always disappointed when I rely on someone else,

and even as I am some people rely on me, and I fear i'll lead them astray,

hurt them like I have been hurt,

maybe its all just one big cycle

or maybe there is no order to it all

but does it really matter?

I don't know, ask a phycologist

Dooms Day

The world ends tomorrow! repent fools! repent!!

Or so thats what I hear anyway, very few people seem concerned by it? I wonder why? Do they trust the people doing this to be right or do they just not care? meh, why do I care for that matter? If the world does end dosn't really matter to me though, we all die sometime, might as well be tomorrow

Today I did what I always do, waste time

I shared the poem I wrote in a fit of anger and despair with one of my oldest and by far dearest friends(even so its hard to find time to spend together, but thats no different then anyone else now a days). He is always one I can count on for an honest and civalised answer. He understood just what I was trying to say and what i'm going threw, was a lovely debate about it.

Nice to know someone cares at least, and maybe sometime I'll put the poem up here, no promises on a spectaculer piece of work, but it expresses how I feel at this time, and thats what poetry is all about.

The music plays away, hoping it will carry me to a better place...

Like you know

The pain here that I feel, try and tell me its not real..

meh

We walk by so many people each day,

I wonder what their thinking?

I wonder if their thinking the same thing?

The Land Before Time

She started talking to me today? Not sure what to make of it? Its been so long. Seemed very nice, as if nothing had happened, maybe thats the way I should be..

Maybe we can still be friends in the end, not like we were but still, what more can I hope for

Watched an old movie from my childhood today. Brought back tears

why worry?

Ah why worry things could be so much worse,

so the girl I loved that broke my heart and left me like I was nothing has got a new guy,
moanings not gonna anything about it? being sads not gonna help,

I need to move on, as I've been told(by my own guardian angel as I sometimes refer to her,) so many times, its just gonna take time, which I have lots off luckily

"Would you kindly?"

OMG! I'm a tool!!! :O

If you get this then I love you :)

Best game ever

a few things running threw my head

Why do other people make life look so easy? Or am I just that bad at it?

Or maybe I see a lot less then I think I do? Or a lot less then I wish I did?

I don't even understand myself, so I havn't got a hope in hell of understanding you? Why fool myself?

Always with the questions? ? ? ? ?

Can I never relax in what I know

or must I always look on to the next question?

Welcome to me

Not sure what to say right away?

Welcome to all who take an interest in my writings, which would suprise me to be honest?

Not sure what i'm doing with my life? Feel lost in the woods so to speak. Another thing to know about me is I think to much, though I am working on quieting my mind if it is at all possible. By the way if you don't like me then please feel free to keep it to yourself. I imagine enough people hating me as it is.

As you can probaly tell i'm not in the best mood, but i'll hide behind a smiling face all the same. Just because i'm sad dosn't mean you should be. I'd rather not spread the sorrow.

Thats all I can think of for the moment, sorry it couldn't be more cheerful. I also apologise too much, I'm just weird in general. Its what I do